A dictator plans to fake his own assassination in an attempt to win the hearts of his people, but his cheating wife, a revolutionary guerilla, and a drug lord may beat him to it.
General Lupo, the South American dictator of Malariana, is faring badly in recent opinion polls. His impoverished Malarianans rank Lupo in popularity below syphillis and diarrhea. To reverse the downward trend, Lupo hires a Hollywood public relations consultant named Wally Dickstein.
Using focus groups made up of rustic villagers, Wally discovers that the single event most likely to win the sympathies of Malarianans is a foiled assassination attempt. He recommends that Lupo hire an Albanian assassin to shoot Lupo with a fake bullet. What the consultant doesn’t know is that at least three conspirators are scheming simultaneously to kill General Lupo with real bullets and an assortment of other lethal weapons.
Lupo’s wife wants to kill her husband so she can run away with a rugged American marine biologist.
Che Lopez, the leader of the Cosmic Revolutionary Front (CRF), is intent on killing Lupo so he can impose a new regime of individual liberty fashioned after North Korea.
Gamba Sanchez, the one-legged but charismatic drug lord who dominates illegal drug operations in Malariana wants Lupo dead so Gamba can establish a free drug-trade zone, or a trade-free drug zone, or whatever.
Confusion ensues as alliances prove untrustworthy and assumptions prove faulty. In the end, General Lupo, his wife, the revolutionary, and the drug dealer all get what they deserve. They all learn that true happiness lies in adapting the American way – round door knobs, soft toilet paper, and zero per cent financing.